How 'bout an Apology?

Last night I was watching Last Man Standing, a new sitcom on ABC starring Tim Allen.  The premise of the show last night revolved around the idea of forgiveness.  Tim Allen's teenage daughter on the show had gotten pregnant in high school; the father had disappeared but in last night's episode he returned hoping to spend some time with the son whom he'd abandoned before the child was born.  Like any father or grandfather, Tim Allen's character was wrestling with the idea of forgiving this kid and allowing him back in the life of his daughter as well as his grandson.  It was at this point that this daughter, who suffered the brunt of the abandonment, is pleading with Tim Allen to let the father of her son off the hook.  She says, "Look, he's trying to apologize and he wants to see Boyd (his son) for Christmas.  You can't hold a grudge forever!" Tim Allen's reply is classic:  "Oh yeah I can.  I'm still angry that those hippies remade True Grit...did you understand anything he (Jeff Bridges' rendition of Rooster Cogburn) said, "Arrgh, arghhh, what you doing over 'ere? Argghh argrgh, tha' leg gonna ha'  come aah!!"  Tim Allen's youngest daughter, observing the conversation, then proceeds to make a great observation:  "You know, dad, you make everyone go to church every week and listen to sermons about forgiveness.  Maybe you should forgive (him)."  Tim Allen's character doesn't appreciate the advice at the time but the words of his youngest daughter definitely impact his character as well as the outcome of the show.

I totally identify with Tim Allen's character in this case.  Forgiveness is such an amazingly difficult concept.  How does one dismiss past grievances and move forward as if nothing happened?  What drives our inability to forgive ourselves and other people?   Right now at Calvary I'm in the middle of a five week sermon series entitled "Seeing the World Through the I's of Christ".  This week's "I" is "The Intention of Jesus".  What was Jesus intending by coming to earth in human form?  My text for this sermon comes out of Philippians 2:5-11:

5 Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: ⁶ Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, ⁷ but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. ⁸ And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death— even death on a cross! ⁹ Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, ¹⁰ that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, ¹¹ and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

So in these verses Paul is talking to the church in Philippi; they've struggled with internal strife (power plays and other issues going on in the community) and Paul is trying to help the church see the need to let go of the past and take on the attitude of Jesus in their relationships with one another.  He's asking them to let go of their own inclination to hold onto the pain and to take on the "attitude of Christ". 

You see, Jesus gave up the Glory of His "God-form" to take on the form of a servant...even lower, a bond servant.  Jesus left his pre-existent, powerful state (his μορφῇ θεοῦ--"the form of God"...His outward expression of His inmost nature as God"-- to take on the μορφὴν δούλου--"form of a bond-servant"...again, Jesus' outward expression of His inmost nature as a servant or more accurately a slave.  This humility is interesting; Jesus chose to come to earth and die for the sins of mankind when we were as the Bible puts it "still enemies of God" (Romans 5:10).  There was nothing spiritually attractive about humanity at the time Jesus came to earth...and yet He still came. He chose to lower Himself, the Sovereign Creator took on the form of His creation, while we were all still in a naturally depraved state (Ephesians 2:1).  God humbled Himself to become like those He chose to save.  "God showed His love towards in that while we were still sinners He died for us." (Romans 5:8)  That's the attitude of Jesus and that's the attitude that Paul is asking the church in Philippi (as well as the church today) to adopt as their own...to take on that form.

So how does this relate to forgiveness?  Look at it this way:  an inability to forgive (other people as well as ourselves) displays a pride that is rooted in a lack of humility.  If we truly take on the "attitude of Jesus" we must forgive because we realize that we have been forgiven of so much ourselves.  When we hang on to the past, hang on to hurt and disappointment, we are essentially saying that our feelings, our emotions, our pain validates our pride.  I've seen this most in people who will not let themselves get over their past mistakes:  "God, Creator of all things, has forgiven me but I can't forgive myself."  What arrogance!!  If we are to take on the "attitude of Jesus" we must let go of that pain because true living cannot take place if we don't forgive.  Unforgiveness festers, pollutes and destroys...forgiveness heals and rebuilds.

I stated earlier that I completely identify with Tim Allen's character on his show.  Here's my reason why and also how I am going to change:  I'm not going to sit back and wait for an apology.  I'm just not anymore.  It's been one year and the reality is that I can't move forward until the forgiving starts.  I know you had no right to do that thing...I know you were simply being creative or  something but through your actions many people were frustrated and disappointed.  Do you hear me?  I'm no longer waiting for that apology.  My only request is that you never do it again...just don't.  Leave it be...let it go and don't ever remake another John Wayne Western again.  You know who you are...now let the healing begin.